Books ~ Delicious Books!

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed on and digested. ~ Francis Bacon

Today ... child #2 says, "I'm bored."  I suggest, among other things, "Read a book," to which he says, "Reading is boring."  With even the smallest measure of my blood flowing through his veins, I know he can't possibly believe that.  He gets very upset when we have to skip bedtime reading (me reading to him).  I've come to believe that technology is his generation's reading nemesis.  It gives them so much information instantaneously and comparatively makes reading seem harder because they have to dig for plot, context, etc.  I think there's a lot of "tasting" of books by the majority of kids today, and not much chewing or digesting.  Such a shame.

Fiction is my least favorite genre.  It's just the way I'm wired.  There are exceptions, though.  To Kill A Mockingbird tops my list of fiction titles, and the main characters in it are like old friends of whom I'm so proud.

The books I do own are so beloved that I liken them to my children:  it's ok if they go somewhere for a visit, but I need to know where they are and when they're coming home.

My favorite chewable, digestibles?  The ones I've underlined and highlighted and re-read over and over?

 * What's So Amazing About Grace? by Phillip Yancey  
 * The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw
 * No Such Thing As A Bad Day by Hamilton Jordan
 * My Grandfather's Son by Justice Clarence Thomas

These four are especially dear to me because they positively changed my way of thinking.  In their pages are love and forgiveness, hard work and persistence, hope and honesty ~ detailed in such a way that I can grasp and apply those principles in my own life. 

Off now to spend a little time with Phillip (Yancey) ... it's been awhile since we've visited and I feel the need for a deep dish of grace.

Finish Your Work

I've never seen a time more critical than now for Christian love and service. Every single day, everywhere I turn, I see others with physical, emotional and spiritual needs that break my heart.  The desire to help can seem overwhelming at times.  How can I possibly meet every need that is presented to me?  The answer is that I can't, and neither can you.  But that's ok, because God never intended for me - or you - to do it all.

I'm encouraged by the following Billy Graham quote from one of his crusades: "My prayer is that God will accomplish what He wants to accomplish in this crusade. When Jesus Christ had finished His whole life, He hadn't fed everybody. He hadn't healed everybody. He hadn't solved the problems of the world or of His own country. But He said, 'I have finished the work that you gave me to do.' And I believe that He has a work for us to do here."

Our model for service is Jesus!  In His humanity, He had many earthly limitations of time and resources, just as we do.  But even more importantly, He had work God had planned especially for Him since the beginning of time.

God doesn't want us to be paralyzed or uncertain as we serve Him. He has equipped, empowered, and enlightened each of us for a purpose, for Kingdom work that we can accomplish in love to make a difference while we're here on Earth. As author Henry Blackaby has said, God is always at work and it's up to each of us to pay attention and join Him when He asks.

What is your work to do today? Encourage a friend with a visit, note or call? Deliver a meal to a family in need? Give up your recreation time or money to be the hands and feet of Jesus to someone who doesn't think God cares? Use your technical ability to help a neighbor with her computer problem? Speak out for injustice using the words you've been given?  The possibilities as God reveals them to you are endless, and your kindness and compassion in fulfilling your call will speak volumes to those you serve. 

Actively listen for God's voice and watch for His invitation to finish the work you've been given to do.

Maslow & Me

What a weird thing to wake up thinking of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, but that's exactly what was on my mind yesterday as I got out of bed! You may remember learning about it from psychology or sociology class ... or maybe not. Anyway, it looks like this and the gist of it is that the bottom levels of the pyramid represent basic human needs that must be fulfilled before people can move on to concern about the higher pyramind levels.

"A rich person isn't one who has the most, but one who needs the least," reads a very simple, beige and black, tin plaque that hangs in the guest bathroom of our home. Ironically, this house cost more than any other place we've ever lived! In our defense, it's not a particularly "fancy" place, but the lake view is spectacular and it seemed, at the time we had it built, a safe place to park some investment money in hopes of multiplying it later when the kids are gone and we sell it for retirement. We do agree that our final retirement place will be much smaller and simpler, and hopefully, mortgage free.

My mind churns fearfully these days - thinking about friends who've been out of work for so long and are unable to meet some of their basic needs, the uncertainty of my husband's industry and what that would mean to us if he lost his job, and the importance of living more simply so we are prepared not only to provide for our own family, but also so we're able to help others.

I suppose after having enjoyed an extended, blessed and luxurious time of dwelling at the top of Maslow's pyramid, I really don't want to go back down to the bottom again. Who would?

What I know for sure is this: today is all that's certain. I thank God for where my circumstances stand in it. Maybe Maslow's appearance yesterday was to remind me to use my resources and blessings wisely - each day. Lest I forget, to whom much is given, much is expected ....

New Adventures in Learning

"Learn as much as you can while you are young, since life becomes too busy later."

~ Dana Stewart Scott

Last week I made a commitment to Rusty at Newnan Music: I promised to pay in advance, be on time, practice regularly, and be patient with myself. In return, he made a commitment to teach me (old dog) to play (new trick) the beautiful, black-and-caramel-colored mandolin that my husband bought for me three Christmases ago. I think we're both a bit overly optimistic, but time will tell!

Life does become very busy as we age and as we accumulate obligations (real and imagined) in our lives that demand portions of our days, weeks and years. We have jobs in and out of our homes, some of us have children to raise, more and more have parents to care for, and many find meaningful ways to use the skills and abilities acquired when life wasn't so ... prescribed. Our hours are filled to the brim as adults: we sleep, work, love, serve, eat, cook, clean, entertain, shop, exercise, and maybe even play ... a little.

I've always had a love for music and admiration for those who could play any instrument. My dad, the first real "musician" I ever recall hearing, was an excellent guitarist - self-taught and a "by ear" kind of guy who'd often pull together a band at a moment's notice, and they'd play 'til the wee hours of the morning in our living room. Though he couldn't read or write music, if you'd hum a few bars, Dad could play virtually any song on his old Gibson accoustic guitar or his shiny, silver harmonica. Music clearly was important to him, but I don't have any evidence to suggest that he ever considered teaching me or my brothers to play an instrument or that my parents ever thought of paying for lessons for us. We had no extra money for such extravagances, but to be fair, most folks who lived around us didn't, either. Several neighbor kids joined band in high school, but that was out of the question for me because it required financial and time commitments from my parents. They didn't appreciate the value in any of it, so it was one of those early opportunities in life to say to myself "that's just how it is," and to get on with life. Over the years, my exposure was increased to different types of music, and I became partial especially to handbells in worship and to mandolin in bluegrass.

Well, God - who just happens to know all the longings of my heart - arranged a special and totally unexpected opportunity for me to learn to play handbells at my new church four years ago, and I jumped at it. It cost me time and a willingness to be teachable and vulnerable ... i.e. not good at what I was doing and probably extremely irritating to my fellow ringers. Very thankfully, they were patient and encouraging. Each time we'd ring, whether in rehearsal or performance, I'd get lost in concentration and in the sheer joy of successfully playing a note, a measure, or the majority of a song.

My thoughtful husband, having watched my delight in learning and ringing bells, and being another who makes it his business to know my heart's desires, surprised me with the mandolin. I truly was delighted to receive it, but inexplicably, three years flew by with me making excuses for why I wasn't taking lessons to learn to play it. Not having enough time and money were chief among those reasons. The start of this new year reminded me, though, that my number of years left to learn new things is dwindling, and that I want no regrets for failing to prioritize my calendar and wallet to make time for important dreams and new experiences. For now they're musical, mandolin dreams, but who knows what's next for this lifelong learner?

Yep, it probably IS much easier to learn things when we're younger because our cranial "hard drives" and our daily calendars are less cluttered. But, as long as it's not too risky, expensive or time consuming, I'm leaving the learning door wide open for new adventures. Will you join me?

Strengthening my EQ

I have no idea who Abraham Joshua Heschel is, but I like and relate to what he says: "When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people. "

My daddy was an astitute businessman who for many years created his own financial success, despite the legacy in his family tree of many generations of poverty and alcoholism and having finished only the third grade. As I was growing up, rarely a week went by when he didn't remind me to get my education and to work hard to learn whatever I could that would allow me to support myself as an adult. He esteemed education and intelligence almost above all else, and most of his praise to me dealt with my "performance." I knew I was loved, but verbal rewards were mostly reserved for "smart" things I'd done or good grades I'd achieved in school.

After high school, I attended college for about a year, then stopped to join the real "working world" and make money. Money ... woo hoo ... what every young person wants! A break that was supposed to take a year or two turned into several, and in those years leading up to finishing, I'd feel embarrassed whenever someone would ask me about it. To make matters worse, for nearly 10 years I worked among educators in a national non-profit organization - many who had an impressive assortment of degrees, titles and past experience - and who were constantly tossing about matters of intellect and analyzing the credentials, abilities and worth of others.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, as like my dad, for most of my life I've admired intelligence above all else in others, probably because it was the primary value taught in my home. A close friend once asked me, "Have you ever noticed that when you talk about someone, you usually refer to their intelligence before anything else?" I had to admit I'd never considered it, but it sure gave me pause that day and long since. I certainly don't want my own children to feel that they are loved or valued primarily because they perform well ... academically or otherwise.

My opinion about the basis of others' worth has been a slow evolution, but one that also has helped me be less critical of myself.

An office colleague asked one day if I'd be willing to deliver lunches, once a week, to homebound people who lived within 15 minutes of our office. I didn't know it when I made my initial commitment to help, but the recipients of the meals were seriously ill men with AIDS. This was at the time when AIDS was barely being discussed outside of doctors' offices. Many of those serving regularly in this way alongside me were not folks I'd admired for their intelligence or ability to articulate great thoughts. What I began to see in these dedicated, non-judgmental people, and to DESIRE for myself, was the beauty, value and worth of kindness, compassion and humility.

Who is in or out in our society? IN: those with beauty, wealth, power, youth, education/intellect. OUT: those who are uneducated, infirm, sick, poor, old, plain, homely or disfigured. If you're in category one now, stop and consider that one day, for reasons beyond your control, you're likely to find yourself in the second group.

My list of heroes today is much different and shorter than it would've been when I was younger. At the top you'd find Mother Teresa and my mom. Folks who know that doing for others builds you up inside like nothing else. Folks who'd give you all they have because in giving, they receive much more. Folks who most likely would register much higher on EQ than IQ (emotional quotient vs. intellectual quotient).

May my life's pursuit in thoughts and deeds be for an ever-increasing EQ. And may I model before my own children kindness and love - the highest achievements of a life well lived.

Enough Already!

What does it mean to live simply? What does it mean to have enough? Why is it that in theory I like the concepts of living simply and having just enough, yet time and again, I'm pursuing more or providing more for my children?

I go to sleep and wake up with images of the recent Haiti earthquake victims in my head. As I laid down last night on my comfortable bed in my safe home, I gave thanks and asked God to please hurry and provide for those hurting in Haiti and around the world who have no place to sleep. As I poured my coffee this morning and chose from a variety of cereals and breads for my breakfast, I gave thanks and once again prayed for God to provide for his hurting Haiti children. I have more than enough and the sad fact is, my family often wastes the overflow.

Gandhi said, "Live simply so others may simply live," and the Bible concurs, advising that we're happiest if we don't have too much or too little money. If we have too little, we're constantly struggling and doing things that may not be good for us or our families so that we can eek out a living or provide for true needs (food, clothing, shelter, medical attention). Too much money, and we tend to focus on it and what it can buy, how to get more, and how to keep and protect what we do have. My former pastor once said the saddest family he'd ever met lived in a mansion behind a gated entrance and had every convenience that money could buy, yet the couple was divorcing and their children were estranged.

Four years ago I paid too much for an 8x10 color photograph of a sandal-shod, arthritic foot (seen above), which as you can imagine, my family prefers I hang only in the laundry room ~ for my own weird, personal enjoyment. Ok ... so it's NOT something that delights the senses or a thing of beauty around which you'd build a decorating scheme, but it was - at the moment I saw it and still continues to be - an important heart message to me. The leather of the shoe is frayed in several places, and the sole looks uneven and worn. The book in which I first saw the photo says that when she was offered a replacement pair, Mother Teresa of Calcutta refused - instead having the old sandals repaired again and again. She felt she had enough. What an example! I had mixed admiration and shame when I first saw the picture, and it haunted me until I had a larger copy of it as a reminder.

Like many people, even with head knowledge of being blessed and having more than enough, I still struggle with "acquisitionitis." Our lack of discipline in this area as a family, though, puts financial limits on what we realistically can do to help others here at home and around the world because we have not yet internalized "enough." Yes, we give to our church and charities that are dear to our hearts, but we could be doing much more. And for every person or family, what we're called to give or sacrifice is different or may change over the course of a lifetime. It certainly has changed in my own mind for my own family over the years. Only a close walk with the Holy Spirit will tell us what is required of us.

In "The Things We Leave Behind," Singer Michael Card writes, "Every heart needs to be set free from possessions that hold it so tight, and we can't imagine the freedom we find in the things we leave behind."

Today I'm longing for that freedom and the heart knowledge of "enough" that finally translates to action in all areas of our family life.

Quotes & Me

I love a good quote ~ on pretty much any topic ~ that zings a truth or a thought to ponder my way. It's ok by me if its source is someone influential like a past president's wife giving advice on real success (Jackie Kennedy Onassis ~ "If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much."), or if it's a make-believe character in a kid's movie affirming his daughter who's just failed an important social test (Mulan's dad ~ "My, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look, this one's late. But I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all"). I hope you'll stop in from time to time and think awhile with me about the quotes I choose to share here with you. And please, tell me some of your favorites and why they speak to you!